How Did You Find That Untagged Post From 11 Months Ago a story of confusion, fear, and general unease
I added the boy I was with when I was 15 on facebook and now I am anxious because I know he still hates me and will never accept my request but still. Why do I do this to myself.
Anonymous asked: what used to be some of your biggest fear foods and how did you overcome the fear of them? and do you still have fear foods? thank you :)
I was afraid of basically any food high in calories: deep fried foods, lasagne, sauces, things that were clearly covered in oil or butter. I still feel a bit anxious about eating these foods, but I have no problem eating them. I just take a deep breath, tell the voice in my head to shut up, and start eating. The more I focus on what I am doing, the less I actually enjoy the food. The more I focus on how I feel, the happier and carefree I am.
I think the best way, for me at least, to overcome fears is slowly approaching them and then do the thing that scares me, as soon as I feel ready, but without waiting too much. One of the things I’ve learnt in these months is that it is easier to do things when you get over yourself - most of the times I am just relying on schemes my mind created for me, but once I stop listening to that voice that tells me “what I am supposed to do/eat/not eat” I can basically do anything I want.
Ha ha, I am afraid I am not making much sense, though! Sorry! I wish you a lovely day, and good luck! <3
Anonymous asked: HI your blog is just amazing and i wouldn't be were i am today in my recovery without your help, i have been doing well with both aspects physically and mentally getting my health back but lately i notice that i dont get any voices hardly ever in my head anymore (ed) !! Does this mean i am truly recovering now can i say that i am on the road to full happiness? xxxx thanks
Aw, you have no idea of how happy makes me feel to read your message! I mean, I am sure you’d have done an amazing job with your recovery even if you did not find my job, but still. I am so incredibly flattered by what you said, and happy to know that things are going so well for you!
I cannot tell you if you’re “truly recovering”, because I don’t know you and we never talked, but I think that you should trust yourself. If you feel that things are improving, if you feel that the voices are getting weaker, then it is true. Trust yourself, share how you’re feeling with the people you love, and ask them for opinions or help or support if you feel like you need it. Just, remember that recovery is not a linear process - life is not a linear process. You go through phases where things are great, and then something bad may happen, but you still have to always pick yourself up. Things will improve again.
I don’t know if I made much sense, but I wish you all the luck in the world, my darling! <3
Anonymous asked: I've come to the realization that I don't have to be perfect. I don't, I really don't. And neither does anyone. I don't have to look a certain way, I don't have to feel a certain way. I don't have to have perfect eating habits in order to feel good and healthy. Do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you love yourself, nobody will be able to put you down
YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
Everything you said, it is so damn true. I am slowly coming to the same conclusions, and, even if it’s hard to always keep this in mind, I am sure that at some point even I will be able to accept myself for what I am. We don’t have to be perfect, because we are perfect already. The fact is that the idea of perfection we have been taught is not real.
Thank you for sharing this. I really hope you’re having a great day, and life is giving you everything you want and need! <3
Anonymous asked: what camera do you use?
It’s a Nikon D3100 with a 50 mm lens. I hope this helps, have a nice day! :)
Anonymous asked: hypermetabolic is not eating 1000 calories and maintaining, that is your body holding on to your food because you're eating much too little. Hypermetabolism is what I am experiencing, 3200 calories and not gaining... which sounds all very good but trust me you get bored of food eating this much, I can't wait to g back to normal functioning :(
Yes, you’re right, but the person who sent me the last message I answered to was talking about being hypometabolic - which is the exact opposite of hypermetabolism. They did not wrote what’s the reason behind this, though, so I think it wouldn’t be correct to assume that it’s just due to eating too little. I mean, restricting definitely slows down the metabolism, but there may be many other reason behind that.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, though! Being forced to eat is just as bad as being forced not to eat, I really hope you can get back to normality soon, my dear! Good luck! <3